It is hard not to feel somewhat envious of your life alone. I know this is horrid of me in several ways, but I try to tell the truth (ND trait, or just me?). My family are almost certainly ND as well, but not in the same ways as me so it can be a hive of sensory/emotional meltdowns on a regular basis. I quite often wish I lived just with the cat. He is my favourite family member. Yes, Ibelieve I am a terrible mother - yes that's another thing, being an ND person parenting an ND child (and husband) is awful, but I think all parenting is probably awful really. Sorry about my negative comment. I am depressed and in the middle of a migraine, and, quite frankly, sick of feeling like an alien monster.
I don’t think it’s horrid of you -it sounds like a very reasonable response to what sounds like ongoing overwhelm -which used to be a much more regular feature of my life when I wasn’t on my own.
I wish for you to get to have as much time as possible away from the chaos, just you and the cat!
(& I wish there was more social acceptance and understanding and support of ALL parents’ need to decompress & find their own equilibrium)
So relate Claire as a ND mother of ND kids. I have a very part-time relationship but I'm not sure that compartmentalising love works either Kate. It's all a struggle and, having given so much energy to others and dealing with my trauma and all of that ND learning, unmasking, it's hard to add anyone else's needs into the picture. Thanks for sharing.
I identified with all of this. Living alone has been life changing for me the past couple of years in terms of allowing me to decompress from the world, but it's taken me until my mid 30s to allow myself to take my own needs seriously. And I still have a lot of work to do figuring out how I can be close to people without losing myself in their needs and ignoring my own.
I've often wondered of my own unmasking would be different if I were living alone rather than with the variety of nd adults who make up my family. Definetly less big shops!
After a pre diagnosis what-the-hell-is wrong-with-me-why-are-the-people-and-the-shelves-so-looming-and-where-are-the-fucking-parsnips overwhelm experience in ASDA about 6 years ago I now do my big shop online. I play a kind of kim's game with my cupboards (I keep everything stored in the same position and eat the same meals) and see if I can remember what's missing. It's a brain game. I then make occasional trips to my CO-OP round the corner with my noise cancelling headphones on to drown out the self checkouts' incessant instructions (I have been known to shout "shut up!" at them) and the radio they have on too loud. This recognising and meeting of needs is like a splitting in two. I am both child and parent. I am learning to notice the silent tugging on my sleeve of overwhelm that comes before the rumbling stage of a meltdown. When interoception is dulled by neurodivergence this is a challenge, but I am gaining confidence all the time.
It is hard not to feel somewhat envious of your life alone. I know this is horrid of me in several ways, but I try to tell the truth (ND trait, or just me?). My family are almost certainly ND as well, but not in the same ways as me so it can be a hive of sensory/emotional meltdowns on a regular basis. I quite often wish I lived just with the cat. He is my favourite family member. Yes, Ibelieve I am a terrible mother - yes that's another thing, being an ND person parenting an ND child (and husband) is awful, but I think all parenting is probably awful really. Sorry about my negative comment. I am depressed and in the middle of a migraine, and, quite frankly, sick of feeling like an alien monster.
I don’t think it’s horrid of you -it sounds like a very reasonable response to what sounds like ongoing overwhelm -which used to be a much more regular feature of my life when I wasn’t on my own.
I wish for you to get to have as much time as possible away from the chaos, just you and the cat!
(& I wish there was more social acceptance and understanding and support of ALL parents’ need to decompress & find their own equilibrium)
So relate Claire as a ND mother of ND kids. I have a very part-time relationship but I'm not sure that compartmentalising love works either Kate. It's all a struggle and, having given so much energy to others and dealing with my trauma and all of that ND learning, unmasking, it's hard to add anyone else's needs into the picture. Thanks for sharing.
I identified with all of this. Living alone has been life changing for me the past couple of years in terms of allowing me to decompress from the world, but it's taken me until my mid 30s to allow myself to take my own needs seriously. And I still have a lot of work to do figuring out how I can be close to people without losing myself in their needs and ignoring my own.
Thank you for putting this into the world.
So much of it resonates.
I've often wondered of my own unmasking would be different if I were living alone rather than with the variety of nd adults who make up my family. Definetly less big shops!
Thank you. & yes, I’m so bored of my little Co-op but also so grateful for it!
After a pre diagnosis what-the-hell-is wrong-with-me-why-are-the-people-and-the-shelves-so-looming-and-where-are-the-fucking-parsnips overwhelm experience in ASDA about 6 years ago I now do my big shop online. I play a kind of kim's game with my cupboards (I keep everything stored in the same position and eat the same meals) and see if I can remember what's missing. It's a brain game. I then make occasional trips to my CO-OP round the corner with my noise cancelling headphones on to drown out the self checkouts' incessant instructions (I have been known to shout "shut up!" at them) and the radio they have on too loud. This recognising and meeting of needs is like a splitting in two. I am both child and parent. I am learning to notice the silent tugging on my sleeve of overwhelm that comes before the rumbling stage of a meltdown. When interoception is dulled by neurodivergence this is a challenge, but I am gaining confidence all the time.